Now that the mind is clear from the clutter of historical friendship mishaps, mistakes, and regrets....let's move onto the step before letting go - forgiveness.
Did you just ask how to forgive? :)
Here are steps to take in order to forgive a friendship that is no longer available:
Acknowledge. Basically this is recognizing that you feel hurt or betrayed by your former friend. Without acknowledgement, resentment can set in which pushes the initial hurt and sadness down further, making it harder to reach for the healthy (and much needed) processing. As a result, knowing what is hurtful for YOU is beneficial informational for YOU to navigate future connections with others.
In other words, you are building your red flag list.
Next, let go. The most effective thoughts at this time are not on your friend, but on what you need.
Following, embrace peace with the fact that you know your friend was a great teacher about yourself.
Take time for yourself - not find new friend right away. This space is an ideal time to reapproach your qualities list and ask "why" to gain deeper insight on your
desired and needed qualities in a meaningful friendship. You can also use the space to work on personal goals, taking advantage of the extra time to take care of yourself.
As a result, all actions create a vibe of letting go and creating space for new opportunities.
Okay so are you ready for the next homework assignment?!
But first, take note of these short tips:
please do not wait for an apology. Be the bigger person and move on. Waiting on an apology delays closure.
If you need support, consider going to therapy.
Cut out communication.
Consider this a learning experience.
Homework:
Write a goodbye letter to your former friend. In the letter you can mention statements you didn't get to say in person. Express how you feel about the relationship ending. Afterwards, tear/shred/burn the letter. This will be a symbolization of forgiving and letting go.
Share your thoughts in comments! Don't forget to share!